In Indian families, decisions often transcend logic, influenced by an invisible force known as mimetic desire. This concept, introduced by philosopher René Girard, describes how people subconsciously imitate the desires of others. In simpler terms, we often want things not because we inherently need them, but because others do.
This phenomenon is deeply rooted in Indian culture, where the actions and aspirations of peers, neighbors, or relatives often dictate family decisions. From upgrading gadgets to choosing a child’s school, mimetic desire influences how families allocate their time, money, and resources.
Mimetic Desire in Indian Families
Consider the case of Amit and Neha, a middle-class couple from Mumbai. Amit, an IT professional, notices his colleague upgrading to a luxury SUV. Suddenly, their perfectly functional hatchback feels inadequate. Meanwhile, Neha sees their neighbor hosting lavish parties and begins questioning if they are falling behind in social standing.
This cycle of comparison escalates during festive seasons, weddings, or milestone celebrations. With 2025 witnessing a surge in destination weddings and extravagant events, mimetic desire has reached new heights. Families feel compelled to match societal expectations, whether it’s enrolling children in elite international schools, owning the latest smartphones, or hosting grand events.
While these decisions might bring short-term joy, they often lead to financial strain and emotional fatigue, as families chase societal benchmarks instead of their own goals.
How It Shapes Indian Family Dynamics
The “log kya kahenge” (what will people say) mentality amplifies mimetic desire in Indian families. It’s not uncommon for people to choose expensive homes, cars, or schools to match what their peers or relatives are doing, even if these choices stretch their finances.
For example:
Wedding Seasons: A Pune-based family borrowed heavily to host a destination wedding in Udaipur, driven by the fear of falling short compared to a relative's extravagant celebration. Three years later, they are still repaying the loans, delaying essential expenses like healthcare and education.
Festivals: In Bengaluru, a couple spent beyond their means on Diwali decor and gifts after seeing friends post elaborate setups on Instagram, only to struggle with end-of-month bills.
2025 Insights: Power of Awareness
According to recent data, 70% of urban Indian families experience financial stress due to lifestyle inflation, driven by mimetic desire. Social media further fuels this trend, with platforms like Instagram and Pinterest showcasing curated lifestyles that seem desirable but are often impractical.
A study by the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) highlights that the average Indian household spends 20-25% of its income on discretionary expenses, up from 15% a decade ago. While rising incomes have contributed to this, so has the pressure to "keep up" with peers.
5 Action Plans to Break Free
Here are five actionable strategies to help Indian families overcome the financial pitfalls of mimetic desire:
Start Family Financial Conversations
Mimetic desire thrives in silence. When families don’t discuss their priorities, they are more susceptible to external influences.
Sit together and define what truly matters: financial stability, education, or health.
Regular conversations can build “financial immunity,” shielding the family from societal pressures.
For example, the Shuklas from Raipur prioritized paying off their home loan instead of upgrading their car, inspired by a heart-to-heart discussion about long-term goals.
Embrace Creativity
Instead of copying others, find unique ways to celebrate and spend.
A Hyderabad family recently hosted a “no-frills” wedding focused on meaningful rituals, spending less than half the budget of similar events in their circle.
For her son’s birthday, a mother in Chennai opted for an experience at a fire station, skipping the typical party expenses. The children loved the unique celebration, proving that creativity often trumps extravagance.
Delay Comparisons
Decisions made in haste, especially under the influence of social media or peer pressure, often lead to regret.
Before making any major purchase, pause for a few days to reflect on its necessity.
A Bengaluru-based techie postponed buying a high-end laptop after realizing it was more of a "status upgrade" than a functional need.
Focus on Small Habits
Financial discipline doesn’t need grand gestures; small habits make a big difference.
Celebrate small wins like saving an extra Rs 500 each month or sticking to a family budget.
Encourage children to value experiences over things, a practice that builds resilience against mimetic desire.
Celebrate Simple Wins
True happiness comes from personal achievements, not societal validation.
Celebrate paying off loans, maintaining health, or spending quality time as a family.
For instance, the Patels from Gujarat gifted themselves a modest staycation after hitting their financial savings target, instead of splurging on unnecessary gadgets.
Path to Authentic Living
Mimetic desire is an inevitable part of social life, but by understanding its power, families can consciously shape their choices. Start by aligning decisions with personal values rather than societal pressures.
Remember, financial stability isn’t about matching others; it’s about securing your family’s unique goals. In 2025, let’s make conscious living the new aspiration. After all, a simple, authentic life is often the most fulfilling one.
By acknowledging mimetic desire and taking proactive steps, Indian families can achieve not just financial freedom but also emotional peace. What will your family choose today?
(The writer is a Financial Educator with 15-plus years of experience, a published author, a TEDx Speaker who hosts multilingual podcast shows ‘LaxmiGyaan Library’ & ‘A Sip of Finance’)
